Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
