You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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