the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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