felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
