maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He kissed a someone with a penis
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
