I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
