I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The feeling are messing with the penis
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
