Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
