there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
