i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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