i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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