the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
