I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
