you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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