Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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