You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
