doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
