She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just gift wrapped bread.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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