It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
