I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
