Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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