sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
