My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
