Just took my morning after pill in the library
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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