:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
