shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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