I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
