I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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