so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
