I am puke
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
