Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
