and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
there is puke in my bra ... again
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