worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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