It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
