I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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