...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
