I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
