that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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