did you get engaged???
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
