I'd wear matching sweaters with you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
