so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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