also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
