There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
