What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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