my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
