I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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