we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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