You can't motorboat a personality
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
