And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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