Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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