Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
