I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
