Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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