I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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