I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
