PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
