I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
