I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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