Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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