Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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