we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
