i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
