you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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